BAJITOBLOG

BajitoBlog is a collection of writings from within my personal life and my work to build a better underground society for all members of the community who do not necessarily fit in with mainstream standards, lifestyles, behavior, etc. I believe we can be our own person, a good and peaceful person without having to conform to mainstream society. In the words of Albert Einstein, my cerebral hero, 'Del you are on the right track' - don't ever let nobody get you down...'

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Location: Dallas, Texas, United States

Some people think i live a fascinating life although i strive to be as humble as i can. but i found that if i ever give it all up - many people would be let down and many people would give up their own personal struggle if they ever see me give up or quit. believe me i have wanted to quit my work a million times and secretly i did. i would say 'no more of this' i'm going to sneak away and start myself a new life like other people have in the real world. then i would get a letter from a kid i never even met or an inmate somewhere i didn't even know and they would tell me how wonderful it was that i was doing so much for others and because of my struggle they had turned their lives around. man i hated those letters i would say to myself MAN! I hate it! i have not gotten five minutes into my new free from the struggle life and yet if i ever did leave it - these two lives may not have ever felt some love in their lives. life is so good when you let go and let God. it took me so many years of fighting to let go and let God rule in my world. Now i just follow Him and my life is so simple i can actually say i enjoy it! :)

Friday, January 28, 2005

WHAT IS IT ABOUT FRIDAY AFTERNOON AND DRUGS IN DALLAS?

Well i thought i really had a great assistant... and i did. for at least 24 hours anyway. yesterday i was bragging about what a great guy billy whatever his last name was... i didn't catch it. well this morning i noticed billy was kinda jittery. someone kept calling him back that i didn't know he knew. then in traffic he said.. oh that car looks like someone i'm looking for... when he lives 40 miles from our store.then he messed up putting the transfers onto heat patches for some sportsbags for our great client (great means they pay their tab when we deliver the goods) All Smiles Dental Clinics - and he was fumbling around and messed up all the patches i had left. He about died and stood there with his hands in his pockets like a statue... of course i wanted to kill him but since they aren't due till next week i decided not to. then i noticed he was really acting kinda crack cocaine strange... i called him over to the side... and i said, 'bro... are you fienen? you for sure act like it? he said 'oh heavens no!' ... hmmm.... i thought, then i said, billy come outside and lets have a talk. i usually get five phone calls a minute so while i was out there i tried to talk to him. then i decided to hold him and i told him to pray to God right then and there and he said he was praying... i said, 'if i can't hear you i don't know if God can hear you so lets pray out loud' - now mind you i had billy outside in the front of our store with traffic all over the streets and people coming and going in and out of the places next door and here's me and billy praying... i made him repeat after me... God I am a sinner, I have lied to you, to myself and to everyone around me, I beg you to please come into my heart and cleanse me of this filthy habit and all the habits i have become addicted to. We went on for about five minutes, meanwhile he held me very tight as i felt him become weak i'm sure with guilt and burden of sin. He began to cry and it was real and i'm sure he hated knowing that i knew him so well. about that time Rob came out and handed me the phone because they are used to taking it around to where i am at in the buildings and when he saw that i was praying with billy i waved him back inside. Rob's a good guy so he just widened his eyes and went back inside with the phone. i told him to go to the store and cash that check and bring back the money for Anthony but i warned him that i would not try to protect him from the world because i knew that the drug dealers would be surrounding the liquor store check cashing place. i really had no other choice because they have been cashing our checks for many years - and only a weak person would not make it in and out of there. Dallas is a city filled with temptation and sin, and it is not a city for the weakend. however i cannot and will not be responsible for someone else. they must do it on their own. i feel bad but there are some folks that until they are tired of their lives they will not do anything about it. so today he's gone. seems he was too tempted with the idea of drugs on a friday afternoon. i think i spooked him when i showed him a drug test kit and told him i would be springing one on him regularly. he thanked me profusely because as he said 'i certainly need it'. then i sent him to the closest place around to cash a check so that i could give Anthony a few dollars for his bus money because he has been volunteering from the parole office since he was having trouble getting a job after coming out of prison over three years ago. anthony is a great guy and he has been learning a lot. not much motivation but at least he's quiet until i need him and then he helps a lot. today i decided to bless him with a few bucks and i sent billy to what i call the Barrio Bank and Trust Co - aka Lone Star Liquer Store. at first i said... oh no... i'm not gonna send you billy but then i wanted to see what he would do since he assured me he was fine. that was the last i saw of him. i kept thinking maybe he went to the store, to get a bite to eat, something... but no, he never came back or called.

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